Off Topic: Dinner Drama

Does anyone else feel like preparing dinner is like being on one of those competitive cooking shows? I swear that some nights (like tonight) I hear Ted Allen’s always-charming voice inside my head...

 

 

 

Ted: Contestants, open your baskets! Tonight you must prepare dinner with… (dramatic pause)…

 

1. Bone-In, Skin-On Chicken that you bought because it was cheap and now is threatening to spoil if you don’t cook it soon
2. Pasta, because you served rice last night and one of your kids would rather NOT eat potatoes
3. A completely filthy kitchen, with at least two loads of dirty dishes sitting around

 

You Have 30 Minutes. Please begin!

 

 

 

Judge 1: Oh, the producers have a bit of a sadistic streak tonight, eh? I mean, after the long day she had today, they give her bony chicken AND dirty dishes all over the prep table? Ouch!

 

Judge 2: Chicken leg quarters are inexpensive and low quality. But more importantly, they take at least an hour to roast in the over, and she only has HALF that time!

 

Judge 3: I agree, and Farmer is at a real disadvantage here. She will HAVE to bone out and skin that chicken if she’s going to finish in time, and she has only the smallest of experience butchering birds. Her real talent is disassembling pork. Couldn’t we cut her a break and give her more time?

 

Ted: No chance. Those kids have school in the morning, and they need to get up early. Besides, there is no doubt some homework that has yet to be completed, so she’s gotta get them fed so she can discover it. Wow! Look at her washing the dishes while the pasta-water boils! Excellent time management!!

 

 

 

25.5 Minutes Later:

 

 

 

Ted: The clock is running down. The table is nearly set, and the hubby is starting to circle. Water glasses are filled… She’s draining the pasta… Wait! The Hubby just called the kids to the table! They’ve come running and the dish isn’t assembled yet! Look at those faces staring into the kitchen as she stirs the sauce into the noodles…

 

Judge 2: Get it served… GET IT SERVED!!

 

Ted: AAAAANNNNDDD…. Time’s Up. Please step away.

 

 

 

Me: Whew. Hope you like it.

 

Family: MMmmm…

 

 

And Then the Cycle Repeats....

 

Hillbilly Ingenuity: Uses for Maple Sap and Syrup

Those of you who are unfamiliar with your Little House books by Laura Ingalls Wilder (and shame on you if you are unfamiliar, by the way), might be surprised to hear what a special treat white sugar was just a handful of generations ago. In pioneer times, when "town" might be a day or more drive from the homestead and when supplies might only come in by train every few months, white sugar was a commodity almost akin to gold or steel. It was rationed in leaner times and generally only used for special occasions and when visitors arrived. The amount that we dump into our hot beverages in the morning, sprinkle on our cereal, or use to make candy (gasp, I even do this when there is no particular holiday in sight!) would be considered almost vulgar in those times. Less-processed raw or brown sugar were more common for everyday use, as was molasses. But if your Little House was in The Big Woods, your primary source of sweetness was maple sap and syrup.

  

 

It can take up to 50 gallons of clear, watery sap to make a single gallon of syrup, and it takes time to do that evaporating without burning it. When there is a huge vat cooking away within full view in your dining room, it is difficult to wait. So, we have found that there are many good uses for maple syrup, sap, and partially-evaporated sap:

  

• Sweeten hot cereal such as oatmeal, farina, or corn mush by adding a splash of syrup or 
• Replace the water in the recipes for hot cereal with fresh or partially evaporated sap 
• Top desserts like ice cream or pie with a drizzle  
• Add it to tea or coffee 
• Heat a mug of sap for a warm, sweet drink 
• Replace the sugar or liquid sugar in a cocktail with sap or syrup 
• Anything else you can think of!

  

If you have the patience, sap can be cooked all the way down to dry sugar. So far, we have not had that kind of patience, but imagine what this list would look like if we did!!

 

Maple Sap Cooking Down to Syrup
(It's so hard to wait!)

Cooking: Apple FrankenPie

Many years ago, when I was starting to get to the age where it was difficult to guess what kind of gifts I might like, my mother asked we what I would like for my birthday. I pointed out, "Pampered Chef makes a beautiful stoneware pie plate. It even comes in my color, Cobalt Blue!" It was indeed beautiful- and expensive. It was certainly something that I wouldn't be able to afford to buy myself at the time. So, naturally, my mother replied, "Yes, but what would you like for your birthday?"


Of course I did receive the coveted pie plate for my birthday (my mother loves me that much!), and I love it. Mr. Farmer has made many chicken pies in it, to the delight of all, and I have even made use of it a few times myself. For the first few years it sat in a place of honor- as much decoration as useful kitchen item. Yesterday I made an apple pie in it.

No, I will not be posting the recipe. I used several different recipes from the Joy of Cooking (1979 Edition) to make this particular FrankenPie. I used one pie crust recipe for the bottom (it came up too dry and a little bit short of the top - thank goodness no one will see that ugliness once it is baked). I used the measurements for sugar, starch, and seasoning for the filling, but more apples than prescribed since it was such a deep dish. Determined not to come up short on the top crust, I used a double recipe of a different variety for the top crust. It was still unbelievably dry, and I had to almost double the recommended water to be able to roll it out. I have quite a bit left over.

In the end, however, the pie came out pretty and delicious, and I guess that is all that matters, right?

Happy Fall, Everyone!

Cooking: Everyday Deviled Eggs

Where there are hens, there are eggs. Where there are eggs, there are people who are desperate to find things to do with the excess eggs when they aren't selling well and the family is getting tired of them. What's a gal to do?

Older eggs make better hard-boiled eggs, so when we get overloaded I either sell them cheap or boil them. The children, however, aren't all that excited about hard-cooked eggs as a snack. They can sit in the fridge for days if left unprepared. I have found, however, that it is simple to make them irresistible:

1. Cut them in half lengthwise
2. Take out the yolks
3. Mix the yolks with a few household goodies
4. Put the yolks back
5. Sit back and watch the kids devour them!

Deviled eggs are not just for parties! Watch how easy it is to turn them into an everyday snack.

Seriously, this is not hard. Cut 6 hard-boiled eggs in half lengthwise as carefully as you can. Gently remove the yolks and place them in a sandwich bag. Add 2 tablespoons of mayo (click here to learn how to make your own) and a teaspoon of mustard (I like spicy brown). Smoosh up the yolks in the bag. Snip the corner of the bag with scissors, and squeeze the filling back into the divot in the eggs. Sprinkle with paprika.

That's it! So easy! And Yummy!

Cooking: Concord Grape Syrup

The kids and I picked a lot of concord grapes this summer. Somehow they got loose in the woods and were growing up through some trees. Most summers you can smell sweet grapes, then wine, then vinegar on the breeze in late August. Most summers we smell them before we remember that they are even there, and by the time you smell them, it is too late.

Concord grapes are fairly acidic and very seedy, and therefore not great for snacking. In the past we have made wine out of them, but Mr. Farmer was not in the mood. Many years ago I made jam and jelly, but there was a recent coupon/sale combo that resulted in this:

There are 16 of These

So, having what appears to be YEARS worth of concord grape jam and jelly in the house, for thirty cents per two pound jar, which is less than what the glass alone would cost me if I made my own, it just didn't make sense to make jam. But I remembered my attempt at jelly when Young Master Farmer was just about two years old. I did something wrong, and the jelly didn't gel. The result, however, was a delicious syrup that we enjoyed on pancakes and waffles and French toast. Syrup made a lot of sense.

Concord grapes are very seedy. Those seeds are stuck really well to the flesh of the grape, and removing them is a chore. The seeds also have a fairly strong flavor, so you have to choose your battles when removing them. Cooking them will impart some of the seed flavor into your juice, but removing them raw is a lot of hard work. I chose to take the easy road this time and cooked the grapes whole (seeds, skins and all).

Of course if you want to cook a bunch of THESE...

You must first pick through a lot of THESE.

After picking through all the stems and leaves, I washed the grapes thoroughly and simmered them for a couple hours. As they cooked, I mashed them in the pot and stirred them so that the seeds broke loose. When they were done, I was finally appreciative of this weird seive that Mr. Farmer has always insisted was important:

This worked SO well!

I had to do almost NOTHING to get down to just seeds!

Look at all that beautiful juice!

I returned the juice to the pot and simmered some more, adding alternate cups of white sugar and corn syrup. I lost track of how many, and I think I burned my lips from all that acid, but it came out to be quite delicious. I poured it, still hot, into jelly jars and canning jars, wiped them up, and stuck them in the fridge. As expected, we ate it all so fast that there was no point in canning it properly.

Cooking: Super Hero Potato Salad

This is Super Hero Potato Salad because making it made me feel like a little bit of a hero(ine). You see, Waste is Gluttony's ugly twin brother (or at least that cousin that always ends up in the shadows in family photos), earning him a spot among the 7 Deadly Sins as far as I'm concerned. When I made this Potato and Egg Salad, I saved red potatoes that were starting to sprout, celery that I accidentally put on the top shelf of the refrigerator that partially froze, and the hard boiled eggs that didn't peel pretty enough to be pickled. Rescuing those perishables makes me their savior, right? Ok, so if you have little kids, feel free to tell them you are making "Super Hero Potato Salad" just to get them to try something new. I won't tell.



Family/Party Size (I always cook this way. Sorry.)

3 lbs red potatoes, cubed small & boiled (peel if you like- I'd rather not)
4-6 stalks celery, chopped
6-8 hard boiled eggs, chopped
fresh chives, snipped
1 cup mayonnaise (Wanna make your own? Here's how!)
1 tbs prepared mustard
1 tsp salt
1 tsp granulated garlic
1/4 tsp cayenne or hot paprika (skip this if you used spicy brown mustard)

Quick Method

Cube the potatoes small and boil in salted water until just soft and not too starchy.
Drain, then plunge into cold water. Drain again.
Toss together potatoes, celery, eggs, and chives.
Chill thoroughly.
Gently fold in mayo, mustard & seasonings.
Chill again or serve. Don't leave out more than an hour, unless you can sit the bowl in a bigger bowl full of ice. Mayo can be a breeding ground for bacteria that causes a large amount of food-borne illness.

Chives:
The first to show up to the party, and the last to leave!

Cooking: Hard Candy Improvements

Ok, broken glass candy (recipe here) is fun, pretty easy to make, and inspires happy memories for lots of people. Still, I find it difficult to eat and messy to transport. So, over the past few months I have been trying to come up with a better shape for the candy that doesn't require me to hand roll the candy into balls. I tried some silicone molds, but the pieces were just too big. I tried to pour the candy in straight rows, which is tricky to do, then score it with a knife and break apart after it has cooled, but that still resulted in a sharp edge.

Then one day, inspired by a cooking show that showed commercial candies being made in molds made of pressed cornstarch, I decided to try that method- replacing the corn starch with confectioner's sugar. The process is very simple: I dumped a few cups of powdered sugar onto a hoagie serving tray that I kept just in case it might come in handy one day. Then I pressed circles into the sugar with the back end of my pestle (you know, that thing you use to grind spices with by hand), which was far easier to use than my thumb. I made them at varying distances apart from one another, and I found that the closer they are together, the better. Then I just drizzled the candy into the individual cavities. Once they cooled, I shoveled them into a flour sifter to remove the excess sugar, and put the sugar away for the next run.

There are a few drawbacks. For example, my wrist was a little tired after all that pouring. And not every drop came out perfect, but it is still far better than a whole load of sharp-edged candy. My regular recipe of candy make enough drops to fill two huge catering platters- probably 4 or 5 standard cookie sheets. But the feel of the candy in your mouth is amazing- smooth on one side, and slightly rough on the side that touched the sugar. It still has that homemade look without all the discomfort. I think this is a great improvement!

Cooking: Homemade Hard Candy

If you follow my Twitter or Facebook, you already know that I burned myself making candy this year. I was testing for "crack," that magical (ok, it's science, not magic) change from gooey melted sugar to hard, suckable candy. I dipped a spoon in the goo, waited a couple seconds, then touched it with my finger (better test method described below). IT. WAS. HOT. I blew on it. The goo stuck to my finger and continued to burn me. I knew I had to get it off. So I did what any panicked, burning, too-proud-to-yell-for-help woman would do: I put my finger in my mouth. In my haste, I smeared some of the burning sugar on my upper lip. I quickly put my burning finger under the cold running water in the sink. I burn myself all the time. I'm a pro at this. The relief flooded over me. That was when I realized that my lip was burned. I guess the endorphins kept me from feeling it right away. As soon as I was able, I looked in the mirror to see what looked like a herpes blister on my upper lip. Four days before Christmas. Great.

This is my second year of making hard candy, and I think I have it down now. My first two batches burned this year, much to the dismay of Little Miss Farmer and the delight of the local wildlife who enjoyed licking the burnt sugar off a rock in my yard. Then I located the recipe I used last year and had much better success. Here's what worked for me:

Ingredients

2 cups white sugar
1 cup water
3/4 cup light corn syrup
flavorings (optional)*
food coloring (optional)
confectioners' sugar

*Flavorings that have worked for me:

• Mild Ginger Flavor - 1/2 tsp ground ginger
• Sweet Cinnamon - 1 tsp ground cinnamon
• Peppermint - 1 tsp peppermint extract
• Fruity - one (0.15 oz) packet of unsweetened drink mix, any flavor (adds color, too!) 

Directions

In a heavy 2 quart saucepan, combine the sugar, water and corn syrup. Cook, stirring constantly until the sugar is dissolved; then cook without stirring, lowering the heat and cooking more slowly during the last few minutes (seriously, do not rush it; sugar burns easily!), to the hard crack stage (EVERY recipe I have seen calls for 300-310 degrees F, but at my altitude, it is about 250 degrees F). An easy (and safe!) way to check for crack is to dip the tip of a dinner knife into the the candy, then plunge into ice water for a few seconds. If it is ice cold and rock hard like a lollipop, but not sticky, you're there.

Remove from heat, add flavoring and enough food coloring to color; stir only to mix. Pour into a cookie sheet or shallow baking dish that has been generously dusted with powdered sugar. Allow to cool slightly, score with a butter knife, and allow to cool completely. (Many people skip this step, but I find little squares more attractive than the "shards of glass" look accomplished by the traditional method of allowing it to cool then hitting it with a hammer.)

I'm not sure if dusting the top helps or not, but I did it...

Break the bits apart after it is completely cooled. Who am I kidding? Some of it is going to look like broken glass no matter how you do it. Toss in a small amount of powdered sugar to keep it from sticking together.

Now the hard part... try to keep the kids out of it!

Cooking: The Christmas Ham

Our Christmas ham this year was our own. We raised it, slaughtered it, butchered it, cured it, and smoked it ourselves. But this post isn't about how this ham came to be preserved and flavored- it is about how it came to be consumed.

A couple years ago I saw a ham special by Alton Brown of "Good Eats" fame. He prepared what he referred to as a "country ham," which is a ham that is dry-cured then smoked. Country ham is drier and saltier than "city ham," which is wet-cured (brined, essentially). It requires special handling, or you get a stringy, dry, pork-jerky instead of a tasty, salty-sweet pork treat.

We soaked the ham for a couple days. Mr. Brown's suggestion of using a cooler with a drain plug was brilliant. That way you can change the water easily- just let the old water out and put new water in- No Lifting! We left the hock attached while soaking, while he suggested it be removed first. As far as I can tell, it didn't make a difference.

From that point you cook it like normal... oh, wait, no. Instead of just plopping it in a roaster pan (or in our case, our handy-dandy portable roaster oven- the same one we cooked down our maple syrup in), you plop it in a roaster pan with a bunch of Dr. Pepper! Alton's recipe called for a liter of soda, but our ham was big, so we got a 2-liter bottle. Sadly, even that was not enough to half-cover the ham as prescribed by the recipe. What to do? Well, Mr. Farmer is no slouch when it comes to food. He claims that he might even have a thing or two to teach Alton Brown. So, naturally, he came up with a solution: Why not cook a maple-cured ham in maple syrup? We still had a quart or so in the fridge, and another half-gallon unopened on the shelf from the last sugaring. The trees will start running again in just a few months, so we had more than enough on hand to splurge a bit on our Christmas ham. Two liters of Dr. Pepper and a quart or so of homemade maple syrup almost half-covered the bottom of the ham.

As you can probably guess, the ham was amazing. Would I be writing a blog post about it if it wasn't? Every time Mr. Farmer makes a ham (or bacon) I always say the same thing, "Wow, Honey, I think you really got the process down now. This is the best ham (or bacon) yet!" Somehow each one is still even better than the last. I can't wait for the next one!

(PS - I almost forgot - 400 degrees for half an hour, then 15 minutes per pound at 350 for the rest of the time. Cook the side dishes after it is out of the oven so that it can rest. Taa Daa.)

Cooking: French Onion Soup

Onions
(No, I did not grow these.)

Last summer my Enabling Brother In Law dropped off bag after bag after bag of onions at my house. When I was bewailing my frustration over what on Earth am I going to do with all these onions, my other brother in law suggested I make onion soup. After all, that's what he was doing with the many bags of onions he was given at the same time! I had my fill of dicing and freezing onions at that point, so I was willing to try anything- even something as fancy as French Onion Soup.

I was kind of let down when I looked into the process for making French Onion Soup. After all, French Onion Soup is a big deal, right? In diners it is never the soup of the day. In fact, any restaurant that serves French Onion Soup charges extra for it- you cannot just get it as part of your meal. So, obviously French Onion Soup must be expensive and time-consuming to make, right?

WRONG.

Onions, as you know, are cheap. No, you do not need a special kind of onions. Broth is also cheap. You can make it yourself from leftovers. Butter isn't exactly out of the reach of the common consumer either. Most recipes call for some red or white wine, but it is not completely necessary, and chances are you have a little lying around. Bread? Cheese? So... where is the expense?

Time consuming? Not really. If you don't have a half hour to watch onions caramelize, you can even use the slow-cooker. Seriously.

Difficult? My kids could do this.

I'm not going to insult you with a recipe. Here's how you make French onion Soup:

Half and thinly slice a whole bunch of onions.

Saute slowly in butter until nice and soft and brown.

Add wine (optional).

Add beef broth (I have used other broths, still yummy), pinch of sugar, salt, pepper, thyme to taste.

Getting fancy? Serve in a heavy bowl with croutons or toast, top with cheese, and broil until brown.

Easy. Crazy easy. Enjoy!

Cooking: Scrapple

3  pounds processed pork parts
4  quarts broth
3  tbsp salt
4  tsp black pepper
2  tsp white pepper
1 1/2 tsp dried thyme
2  tsp rubbed sage
1  tsp ground savory
2  tsp granulated onion
3  tsp marjoram
1/8 tsp allspice
1/8 tsp nutmeg
3  cups corn meal
1  cup buckwheat flour


Making scrapple is actually more process than ingredients. The list of seasonings above, however, is the closest to the scrapple I remember in my youth. I am extremely proud of Mr. Farmer for working it out. The process usually takes us several days to complete.

The first step to making scrapple is the cooking of the first two ingredients: cooked pig parts and broth. Pork liver, tongue, etc. (basically anything you don't want to keep for the dogs - some people use snouts and such, but dogs LOVE those, so we don't) as well as bones with any meat left on them are boiled for hours and hours (sometimes we do this overnight) until fully cooked and meat is easily removed from the bones. The broth is strained off and put away to cool. The meat is sorted and separated to remove cartilage and excessive fat, then ground through a fine food mill.

When you're ready to cook, bring the broth and spices up to a near boil. Add the corn meal and the flour slowly. Once that is completely combined and smooth, add 3 pounds of the prepared meat. Simmer the scrapple low to medium low until the corn meal is soft and the flour is indistinguishable from the meat (they are about the same color, so we are talking about texture here). A slight increase in heat at the very end may be helpful. The mix is ready when a wooden or plastic spoon stands up on its own in the mixture.

Did you think I was kidding?

Once the mixture is fully cooked, pour into loaf pans and cool at least a full day (2 is better). Scrapple handles best when frozen and sliced. Fry it up - Thin and Crispy or Thick and Squishy - you decide.

Cooking: Homemade Mayo

We are a mayonnaise family. When I was a kid, I couldn't put my finger on what it was about my aunt's macaroni salad that made it so much better than my mother's until I found that she made it with mayo- not, well, you know.

I always knew mayo was made with eggs and oil, and we have had chickens for years now. I have been avoiding making my own, however, because I kept reading horror stories about stiff arms for days and mayo that wouldn't set or would separate within minutes of coming out of the fridge. In short, I was chicken. Then one magic day I found that you can make mayonnaise in the blender! It is super easy! Even with full-price (not on sale, no coupons) vegetable oil, making your own mayo is about a third of the price of buying it. I will soon start buying my oil by the case for even bigger savings.

Look how easy:


In a blender, thoroughly blend:
1 egg
1 tsp ground mustard
1 tsp salt
1 tsp sugar
dash hot paprika
1/4 c oil

With blender still running, remove cover and add:

1/2 c oil

Once that is completely combined add:

3 tablespoons lemon juice

Let it blend and then:

1/2 c oil

That's it! I find the easiest way to get it out of the blender is to take off the blades, put the bottom into a wide-mouthed jar, and push the mayo into the jar with a rubber spatula. Now that wasn't so bad, was it?

NOTES: Yes, you can double the recipe, if you have a good strong blender. It will almost fill a standard mayonnaise jar if you do. You may need to use your spatula to help keep the blades running effectively, however. If you have a modern, $29.95 model blender (like one of mine is), you should probably stick to the small batches.

Substitutions:

You can substitute vinegar for the lemon juice. I tried this and Mr. Farmer preferred the lemon.
You can use any red pepper of your choice for the paprika. Cayenne, Old Bay, etc. all work great.

Add-ins:

Make your own gourmet mayo! Add a teaspoon of garlic powder, dried dill, or horseradish at the beginning of the recipe.

Life Is Good: Cucumber Salad

It is the simple things in life that make me happy. A sunny day after a week of rain is a joy. A rainy afternoon after a heat wave is bliss. A salad made from cucumbers, tomatoes, and chives from my garden (with salt as the only dressing) is a summer treat beyond any other.

Yummy!

That’s right: the late summer harvest is upon us. It is cucumber and tomato time. Rhubarb pie dreams and died-herb fantasies will soon become reality. I’ve traded fresh eggs for a pile of fresh eggplant from a friend who lives farther down the mountain. The green peppers are small and thin-fleshed, but they are plentiful beyond our expectations. So far it doesn’t look like I will have enough cucumbers come ready at once to put up pickles this year, but there are more than enough for salads, snacks and sandwiches all August long!

Joy!

I can't look at that picture without starting to sing the opening theme to "Veggie Tales." I hope your gardens are bringing you as much joy as mine are!

Cooking: The Cake

Little Miss Farmer turned thirteen on July 19, 2011. When I asked her what kind of cake she wanted, she said she wanted a "Portal Cake". I knew what Portal was: it is what I consider one of the better video games available these days. You have to make your way through puzzles by creating portals with a gun that shoots virtual holes for you to pass through. Your motivation to proceed to the end of the game is cake. The children shout that "The Cake Is A Lie" over and over because apparently, if you get to the cake in the game, any attempt to retrieve it results in death of your character. Such an epic story could only end with a spectacular cake (and MY cakes tend to be delicious, not beautiful), so imagine my relief when I looked up a screenshot of the cake online and found this:

The Cake, as Seen in the Game "Portal"

Oh yeah. I got this. Further research showed that the cake was 3 layers and chocolate. So I made my famous chocolate cake from scratch (recipe below) twice, so that I would have 4 layers. We snacked on the extra layer while we waited for the final product to be ready. Once the layers were baked and cooled, I cut the tops off so they would be nice and flat like the cake from the game.



Tops Sliced Off

Then, since I needed to make white icing for the blobs on top, and since the only pictures of the inside of the cake are black and white so it is hard to tell what color the filling is, I stacked up the 3 layers with white buttercream icing between (recipe also below). Did I mention that I love buttercream icing? It is so easy to make and amazingly delicious.

  



At This Point I was Wondering
If the Glass Dome Would Fit.
It Didn't.

Next I frosted the outside with dark chocolate icing (you guessed it, recipe below).

  

Chocolate Icing Added

A closer look at the screenshot shows that the cake has some texture to the outside. It is unclear as to what causes that texture. I have seen chocolate shavings and cookie crumbs used for that purpose, but I went with chocolate chips.

  

Encrusted with Chocolate Chips

Then I added the final decoration: the white icing blobs and cherries. All done! (Four Hours Later!)

  

How Did I Do?

I am pleased with the result. Of course I have made this cake as a simple two-layer, extra-chocolaty deal on a number of occasions, usually just sprinkled with a little this or that as appropriate for the occasion. I have filled it with strawberry preserves or whipped peanut butter. The cake itself is easy and I have been accused of buying it or using a box on more than one occasion. But seriously, this cake (in its basic form, not the craziness I did with it for Little Miss Farmer's birthday), is a piece of cake to make (pun intended!).

The Cake

Ingredients

2 cups sugar
1-3/4 cups all-purpose flour
3/4 cup unsweetened Cocoa powder (Dark is best)
1-1/2 teaspoons baking powder
1-1/2 teaspoons baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
2 eggs
1 cup milk
1/2 cup vegetable oil
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
1 cup hot coffee

Directions

1. Heat oven to 350°F. Grease and flour two 9-inch round baking pans.

2. Sift together sugar, flour, cocoa, baking powder, baking soda and salt in large bowl. Add eggs, milk, oil and vanilla; beat on medium speed of mixer 2 minutes (or by hand until smooth). Stir in hot coffee (batter will be strangely thin). Pour batter into prepared pans.

3. Bake 30 to 35 minutes or until wooden pick inserted in center comes out clean. Cool 10 minutes; remove from pans to wire racks (Or clean towels). Cool completely before frosting.

The Chocolate Icing

Ingredients:

1/2 cup butter
2/3 cup cocoa
3 cups powdered sugar, sifted
1/3 cup milk
1 teaspoon vanilla extract

Directions:

Melt butter in the microwave or in a small pan on the stove. Stir in cocoa. Alternately add powdered sugar and milk, beating to spreading consistency. Add small amount additional milk, if needed. Stir in vanilla.

Makes about 2 cups frosting.

The ButterCream Icing

Ingredients:
 
1/2 cup solid vegetable shortening
1/2 cup (1 stick) butter (softened)
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
4 cups sifted confectioners' sugar (approximately 1 lb.)
2 tablespoons milk

 
Directions:

 In large bowl, cream shortening and butter with electric mixer. Add vanilla. Gradually add sugar, one cup at a time, beating well on medium speed. Scrape sides and bottom of bowl often. When all sugar has been mixed in, icing will appear dry. Add milk and beat at medium speed until light and fluffy. Keep bowl covered with a damp cloth until ready to use.

 

Thrift: Freezing Sweet Bell Peppers

Did you know that bell peppers freeze very well? That time of year will be upon us soon, and I absolutely hate waste. This time the sweet peppers came from the local grocery store. They were past their peak (definition: half of them had actual mold on them), and the pigs didn't seem to care for them. So, I sorted through them, pulled out the ones that were in better shape, and prepared them for storage.

First I washed them whole and removed the stickers. Then I took off the tops and removed the seeds. I cut them all into tiny dices and mixed them together in a big bowl. Then I rinsed them again one last time and let them sit in the fridge for a few minutes in the colander to drain. I bagged them up in zipper bags and stacked them in the freezer. A couple of the bags I mixed chopped onion with the peppers.

Admittedly peppers do lose some of their snap when frozen, but they still work well in a lot of recipes. Bang the bag against the counter a few times and they break right up, making measuring easy, right from the freezer! Toss them, still frozen, with your warm pasta to help cool it quicker for macaroni or pasta salad (you didn't really think I only had one method for speed-cooling pasta, did you?). Toss them into your spaghetti sauce. Add them to your homemade salsa. Fry them up with sausage and serve over pasta.

Sausage, Peppers, and Onions

Whether your garden is overproducing, your animals are being picky eaters, or your brother-in-law scored yet another just-before-closing deal at the flea market, don't throw out those peppers! Freeze them!

Cooking: Macaroni Salad Shortcut

Here's a common scenario for your consideration.

Telephone rings.

Friend/Neighbor:   Hey! What are you doing for dinner tonight?
Mrs. Farmer:   I dunno; just throwing something on the grill, I think. You?
Friend/Neighbor:  The same. Wanna do it together? At the lake?
Mrs. Farmer:  Sure. I have hot dogs. I don't have buns though.
Friend/Neighbor:  I have buns. I have cheese and crackers!
Mrs. Farmer:  I can make a salad. I have paper plates and Kool-Aid!
Friend/Neighbor:  I have ketchup and mustard. See you in a half hour?
Mrs. Farmer:  You bet!

In recent days it has become clear that this scenario is going to continue to play out again this summer, over and over, just as it has in years past. It is a blessing and a curse, all at the same time. Impromptu barbecues at the lake are a lot of fun. They are a relaxing way to get together with friends. The kids can eat quickly and then run off to enjoy a little fresh air (and NO video games!) with their buddies. There are no dishes to wash, except for the serving pieces. The only downsides are the sunburn, the bugs, and of course the rush to get a nice salad made in under an hour when the cooked pasta needs to chill.

I found a solution to the hot pasta issue that works just perfectly... a stainless steel mixing bowl. When I need a pasta or macaroni salad in a hurry, I cook the noodles, drain them, toss with a little oil, and place in a stainless steel bowl. Then I put the bowl into the freezer for a few minutes. The metal bowl transfers the cold so quickly, that I can usually have ice cold pasta in 15 minutes or so. I have found that I do need to stir/toss the macaroni a few times during the cooling, otherwise a few noodles on top freeze while the ones in the middle remain warm. I just leave the spoon in the bowl for ease.

Happy grilling season, everyone!

I was just barely able to make the bowl fit this time!

Cooking: Corn Meal Mush

This family loves anything that can be called comfort food or peasant food. Foods that are cheap and filling, or maybe foods that bring back fond memories, are sometimes the best food there is. Sometimes we even elevate poor people food to the next level, and to our kids it feels like a real treat. Recently we discovered the joy that is corn meal mush.

My mother seldom, if ever, made cornbread when I was a kid. When she was young, her father (my grandfather) was laid off and the family of 5 had to go on welfare. One of the staples that was provided by the government food programs was corn meal, and it was given in far more abundance than white flour. So my grandmother dutifully fed her family corn bread and corn mush on a nearly daily basis for many months. My mother soon grew tired of this, and she vowed never to eat corn meal again - if she could help it. To her, eating corn meal was a sign of hard times.

We always have corn meal in the house. Mr. Farmer bakes bread frequently, and he dusts the bottom of the loaves with corn meal to keep them from sticking. More recently, we purchased quite a bit more for making scrapple. We love cornbread with our chili. We even use it to fry fish sometimes. Somehow, however, we never thought to make breakfast mush out of it.

Mr. Farmer made some as a midnight snack and it was amazing! Hot cereal isn't all that exciting as a rule, but corn mush has a saltiness that oatmeal can't deliver, and the texture is just slightly heavier than farina (which I really don't care for because of the sliminess). I went to bed that night with a full belly and a satisfied- but not overwhelmed- sweet tooth. I have the leftovers in the fridge chilling to try as fried patties. I can't wait!

The Recipe:

3 cups hot water
1 tsp salt
1 cup corn meal
1 cup cool water

Sugar & Butter (or milk)

Boil the hot water and salt in a large pan. Mix the corn meal into the cool water. Slowly add the cornmeal water into the boiling water and cook, stirring constantly for 5 minutes and reducing the heat as you go. Cover and cook on low for an additional 10 minutes, stirring occasionally. Serve hot with butter or milk and sugar.

Cooking: Refrigerator Cookies

I have been making these cookies for so long that I don't even remember where I got the recipe. They have become a tradition, as they are almost the only cookies that I make. Almost.

1 c sugar (measure, then sift)
1/2 c butter (room temperature)
1 beaten egg
1 tsp vanilla
1 1/4 c sifted all purpose flour (sifted, then measured)
1/4 tsp salt
1 1/2 tsp baking powder

Beat 1/2 cup butter until soft.
Reduce mixer speed, put 1 cup sugar into sifter and add gradually to butter.
Add 1 beaten egg and 1 teaspoon vanilla to mixer.

Add 1/4 teaspoon salt and 1 1/2 teaspoon baking powder to the already sifted flour and sift again.
Add the dry ingredients to the wet gradually until completely combined.

*** Now for the fun part! ***

This basic dough can be used a number of ways, but all of them need to be refrigerated or frozen to work. It can be colored and/or additional flavors can be added, but if you do, you may need to add an extra tablespoon of flour at the end to take up the extra moisture.

CUTOUTS: Roll dough between 2 sheets of plastic wrap and chill. After 15 minutes, remove the plastic, place on a floured surface, cut with shaped cutters, decorate and bake quickly.

DROPS: Chill entire dough ball for 15 minutes. Just before cooking, roll into small balls and place on cookie sheet. Drops will spread into perfect rounds.

BASIC SLICES: On a floured work surface, roll the dough into a tube shape that is slightly smaller in diameter than you want your finished cookies to be (they spread). Place the dough on a piece of plastic wrap, wrap and refrigerate 15 minutes or freeze. Moments before baking, unwrap and slice for round cookies.

SQUARE SLICES: Use the same process as above, only flatten the tube (after wrapping in plastic for ease) into an elongated box. When you slice them, they will be squares.

PINWHEELS: Make two batches of dough, one plain and one colored (or two different colors). Roll each batch between 2 sheets of plastic wrap and chill. After 15 minutes, remove one sheet of plastic from each and stack one on top of the other. Then remove another sheet of plastic from the outside and roll the 2 sheets into one log. Re-wrap in the plastic, chill again, then slice and bake.

The 2010 Christmas Cookie Box
Drops, Pinwheels, & Cutouts

STRIPED SQUARES: Make as many batches of dough as you want colors on each cookie. Roll flat sheets of dough as described above, chill, and stack. Cut the dough in half lengthwise and stack again until height and width are even and you have a square tube. Chill again, then slice and bake. (I wish I had a picture. These look so cool!)

*** Bake ***

Bake 8-10 minutes at 400 degrees. Cool 1 minute on cookie sheet, then use a spatula to carefully remove and transfer to paper to completely cool.

Cooking: German Ring Bologna

5 lb ground meat
1/2 cup flour
1 tsp #1 prague powder
6 tbsp brown sugar
8 tsp ground coriander
1 1/2 tsp garlic powder
1 tsp granulated onion
4 oz ice water
8 oz red wine

Mix meat and spices and pack into hog casings.

Allow to rest in refrigerator until completely cool and dry.

Smoke at 225 F until internal temperature reaches 165 F.

Dip in boiling water to shrink casings.

Air dry at room temperature, and package.

Bologna Resting In Fridge Before Smoking

Cooking: Kielbasa

We made this recipe with equal parts venison and pork meat/fatback. The result was excellent! It is my understanding, however, that it can also be made with pork and beef or chicken and beef with similar results.

5 lb ground meat (part red meat, part white)
2 tbsp garlic powder
2 tbsp salt
2 tbsp sugar
1 tbsp black pepper
1 tsp white pepper
2 tbsp paprika
1 tsp marjoram
1 tsp #1 prague powder
1 cup cold red wine

Mix the meat and spices and pack into pork casings.

Air dry in refrigerator or in cool smoke 90-100 degrees F (never over 100).

Smoke 160-165 degrees F until internal temperature is 152 F.

Rinse with cool water until 120 F below (to prevent shrinkage).

Age 2-3 hours at room temperature to dry (and allow for color to bloom), then pack.

Kielbasa